"Commitment" & "Love"

Its funny because I don’t do much reading when it comes to books but I’ll sit there and read blogs…so as I’m sitting there reading blogs written by a good friend of mine and I couldn’t help but feel the need to write. It’s amazing how so many of us are alike, or are we? Maybe certain people just connect on a different level, or one’s experience almost feels like they lived yours? I only met this friend a couple of months ago but it feels like I have known her my whole life…she gets me…I get her…our experience relate…or lives mesh. Its funny how someone you just met you feel like you have known your whole life. Paths cross for a reason…I know that ours were meant to cross. When you meet someone you either connect or you don’t. This goes for both friendship and love. You meet a friend for the first time and you know from the moment you meet them that they will be in your life forever. You meet a guy…(we have all mistaken “the one”) in this case, but even with that…you connect and know that one way or another this person will change your life…no experience is a bad one, no experience should ever be regretted. So even when you meet the guy that you think is going to be in you life forever and in the end isn’t, they still taught you something that will last with you for the rest of your life…so even though this person in no longer actually in your life…they are part of it forever because of the experience. So back to my friends blog…all very well written but 2 really stood out to me…one was called “Commitment” and the other was “In love with the idea of being in love”…now reading those two blogs I almost felt as if I had written them. They say a woman plans their wedding as a child…I know we all when younger had a plan…when we were going to be married by, how many kids we were going to have and what our wedding is going to be like. I know my plan was for 24…well I’m almost 27 and been single for almost 9 years. Her two blogs I can join and relate to 100%.

"I heard someone say once... "don't settle for the one you can live with, instead be with the one you can't live without" Ok, I agree, but do we HAVE to find that 'special someone?' Do we HAVE to fall inlove? There seems to be a lot of pressure around this topic. We (including myself) seem to put a lot of pressure and stress on ourselves in finding someone to fall in love with that we will pick apart people so quick, find all their flaws, and not truly give them a fair chance. We are so 'in love with the idea of being in love' that if we don't feel that "spark" people talk about when first meeting, we kick them to the curb. ... ... Is this wrong, shallow, picky, or smart?? Do you truly want to be in love?? What is it exactly we are suppose to do??”...”I can honestly say that I find myself attracted to those who are emotionally unavailable. Why?, I don't really know. I know what I want and what I expect from my future man/husband but it's like I continue to attract the "wrong" ones cause subconsciously I know that nothing will ever become of our "situation".”

That was two paragraphs from separate blogs…yet I can combine them and say that is exactly how I feel. People ask me all the time, why are you single? Are you too picky…up until a month ago my response to that would have been “I just can’t meet anyone, I tend to find the ones you aren’t willing to commit” but only did I just learn that its not that I can’t meet the right guy…its because subconsciously I’m sticking with the ones I know won’t commit to me…because by them not committing, they won’t have any expectations from me...and I don't want to be with someone who has expectation from me if I know deep down their not the one...but then why do I stick around? Why waste my time with someone that doesn't want to commit to me? Maybe because we all want that feeling of wanting…so if there is somewhat of a connection you stick around with no commitment just for that feeling of wanting until you meet that one…that one that you can’t live without…the one you know you want to spend the rest of your life with. Do I believe in “LOVE” yes, have I been “IN LOVE” I don’t think so…have I “LOVED” yes! Will I commit one day? YES!!! But what I realized a month ago that I won’t commit to someone just for the sake of being with someone, just because I have been single for so long and I’m only getting older and society tell me its time to settle down…I will commit when I know he’s the one!
I related to her, and I'm sure someone can relate to me! She's not alone with her questions...and I know now that I'm not the only one out there who feels this way!